Jane Frydman Obituary

If things feel a bit off-kilter lately, maybe it is because Jane Frydman, for so long a constant presence at library book clubs, public lectures, local theatre productions, KU dance performances, and garage sales, is no longer with us. She died peacefully at home on February 20, 2024, at the age of eighty-eight.

Johanna Brunner, as she was first known, was born in 1935 to Hilda and Ernest, an Austrian couple then residing in Budapest, Hungary. Europe was on the brink of World War II. In 1941, after selling everything they owned and securing travel documents, the Brunner family embarked on a wartime odyssey through-out Europe to Lisbon, where they managed to obtain passage on a ship headed to the United States. (Family documents from this time are in the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum.)

They settled down in Washington Heights, an immigrant neighborhood in Upper Manhattan. When Hilda took little Johanna to register for elementary school, the teacher deemed the name Johanna "too Germanic" and suggested Joan or Jane. Without any input from Johanna, the adults settled on Jane.

Jane was a wiz at school, quickly learning English and earning an "A" in every subject. Well, almost. She did get a "B" in Penmanship once, but we who have seen her graceful schoolgirl cursive in faded fountain pen ink cannot understand why.

Although little Johanna did not feel empowered to advocate for herself when her name was so casually changed, the grown-up Jane Frydman was formidable. She earned a Doctorate of Psychology, and in her 40's, while raising three teenage boys, she went to law school. When she started her family law practice, Jane was one of only a handful of women attorneys in Douglas County. She used her legal knowledge to partner with her husband Lou to protect the rights of people with psychiatric illnesses and to change Kansas' involuntary com-mitment statutes.

Jane's intellect, memory, and stubbornness were legendary. She had strong, well-grounded opinions about politics - and politicians - and all the issues of the day, from the local and mundane to the most complex. She was progressive and generous, a role model for many younger women who knew her.

The love of her life was Lou Frydman. They met in New York City on a blind date, and were soon married. Lou and Jane lived in New York City; Cincinnati, Ohio, and Byram, Connecticut, be-fore moving to Lawrence, Kansas, with their three boys, in 1969. Jane's mothering style was open-minded and liberal. She raised her sons to be good critical thinkers and encouraged them to have their own adventures.

When the boys grew up and had families of their own, Jane and Lou were involved grandparents with a room full of toys, games, and arts supplies. The Frydman kids have fond memories of dance parties and sleepovers and harvesting carrots at grandma and grandpa's house. Sadly, Lou died in 2012.

A few years later, Jane surprised us all by announcing that she had bought herself a new house, upsizing, as one does when approaching the age of eighty-five. This decision was based in part on her book collection, which rivals the Library of Congress. Or at least, it seems to. She surrounded herself (and her books) with Polish and African art that she and Lou collected over the years and on their travels abroad.

Jane's three great pleasures - reading, swimming, and listening to classical music - were lifelong. Reading was a passion from the first Hungarian fairy tale. Swimming was a part of the Brunner family life-style; summer vacations were spent at Lake George in the foothills of the Adirondacks. Jane continued to swim into her eighties. Her love of music dates back to her father listening to the classical radio station while driving her to school.

Jane had classical music on full blast until the end.

Survivors include Jane's sons and their families: Dan and his wife Bettie of St. Joseph, Missouri, children Jacob and Jason and grandchildren Jodi, Jacob and Lillian; John and his wife Laurie Martin-Frydman of Lawrence, Kansas, and children Jake (wife Bridget) and Aly; Rick and his wife Lisa Harris-Frydman of Lawrence, Kansas, children Hannah (wife Annabel), Tess (fiancé Stephen), and Sofie, and their mother, Amy Lee. Jane leaves behind her brother, George Brunner, and his wife Betty Lim, of New York City, as well as many dear friends.

Jane's family loved her very much. She was a huge presence in our lives. It's hard getting used to the world without Jane.

A Celebration of Life will be held in the Lawrence Public Library Auditorium on Sunday, April 28, 2024, at 12:00 p.m. In lieu of flowers, please consider making a donation to the library in Jane's name.